large family "one-liners"

OK, I must be in the mood for "lists." I am following up yesterday's list of 20 historical events that have happened since the Cubs last won a world series with a list of one-liners that having a large family produce from the public.

Where does this thought come from, you may be asking (or not)! By the way, let me just say here, I like to humor myself and really believe that people enjoy reading my thoughts. So when I say things like "you might be asking, you might be wondering, for all of those interested, etc", it is my way of building up my low blogging self esteem. So leave me a lone and let me do it. OK, back to my blog. As I was saying, because all of you were curious (he he he), this list is a product of a conversation that I had with a co worker this morning. Here is how the conversation went.

Co worker: "Hey Red. I heard you have like 10 kids."
Me: "Ha." "No not 10, just 5 with one on the way."

Co worker: "You know what causes that, don't you?"
Me: (sarcastically, b/c i love this question) "Nope, actually I can't figure it out. My wife pops up pregnant about every 10 months and quite frankly, it is scaring the crap out of me. Any suggestions?"

Co worker: "Yeah....get neutered."
Me: "HA"

Co worker: (obviously realizing my sarcasm) "Seriously, are you Mormon?"

I have never been asked that one before. Between my wife and I, we have heard some interesting comments re: our family, but this was a first. Am I Mormon? That is funny!

The conversation went on for a bit longer and I will spare you the part where I really tried to freak him out and dropped the God card on him and said, "it is really up to God how many children we have." You should have seen his face. He was back peddling and I was all over him like one of Jesus' ninjas at this point. Just kidding, obviously. But this was a very real conversation that got me thinking about all of the comments we have heard and some I have heard from other families regarding their larger families.

I am interested to hear from my Cousin, Cyndi, who has 9 kids. So here goes it:

One-liners that a large family produce from others:

1. Are they all yours? (probably the most common)

2. You know what causes that don't you? (this begs for a "here's your sign" response, which is what I should have said to my co worker)

3. This is not per se a comment, but you see people counting your children (either out loud or by using their finger) when you are out in public.

4. You have your hands full. (My wife loves this one)

5. I have actually been asked, "What do you do for a living?" (My wife says people ask her all the time, what does your husband do)

6. How do you do it? (I sometimes want to respond to this one by saying, we don't. We have actually been admitted to a mental institution and we are out on our weekend visits with our kids.)

7. Do you have a Nanny? (Are you kidding me? It is enough to afford all of these kids and the stuff that goes along with them. How could we afford to pay a full time Nanny?)

8. My wife gets asked (since we only have one boy) "do you hope it is another boy?" (I sometimes want to say, nah, just a healthy baby will do fine).

9. I am glad it's you and not me! (hmmm....Me too with that comment)

10. Since my wife is pregnant, this one is common also: "Are you going to get your tubes tied, fixed, or some variation of the sort. Or is this it?" (Why should we get fixed? Nothing is broken from our standpoint)

11. You must never have time for yourself.

12. You just don't see large families this day in time.

13. How many do you think you will have?

14. You must have a lot of patience.

15 And finally, the newest on the list: "Are you Mormon?"


I could keep going here, but I will stop at 15. As I look back over this list, I am realizing that I have kind of with my responses made them seem negative. Sometimes they are, but not all responses are negative. I just want to go on record and say that. You can tell when someone is responding to the size of your family in a negative way. We just laugh about it now. Actually, we try to come up with creative ways to respond. It is a fun hobby for us now.

Big families rock. I was an only child growing up and my wife was 1 of 3. So neither of us had a larger family experience as a child. We just are open to what God wants for our lives and that's that. The door of adopting opened up for us a few years of go and we felt led by God to go that route. It has been an awesome experience. Maybe, we along with other large families (which seem to be the minority) can bring large families back in style. Kind of like bell bottoms (in style, out of style, back in style). The same thing can be said of large families. At least in our opinion.

Stay tuned for my next blog which will be a "list" of things that change when you have a large family. I am still thinking that one up.

Happy Friday to you all!

Overwhelmed with Worry?

When I first became a christian, like so many others, I had no idea what that part of my life would look like. It is funny, in a way, to look back now and think that if God would have revealed to me at that moment what was going to change in my life and what was going to need to change, I think I would have ran really fast in the other direction.

Now here I am some 12 yrs later completely a different person. There is so much going on: from the responsibilities of a wife and 5 kids, my continuing and growing relationship with God, and the roller coaster ride of Foster care and adoption. I drive a 12 passenger van now, for crying out loud. If you would have shown me this picture back in my (i am invisible and rebellious) days, I would have called you insane and laughed in unbelief!

But that is how God works, I am finding out. He doesn't show us more than He thinks we need to know at the time. He knows better than anyone else that we are weak and He cares enough to not give us more than we can handle. He knows we will worry about the details and what He really wants is for us to give our worries over to Him and trust Him for our future.

These thoughts enter my head as I meditate on our current situation with Anna Kate and Noah (who I have written about earlier on facebook). It is so hard not to worry about this situation. Today, they have a visit with their birth mom. Why, I have no idea? She caused a big uproar right before the pre-trial last week and then didn't even show. Now she is calling off the hook to DSS wanting to visit with her children. Worries flood my mine from why to what are her motives, etc. At any rate God brought a verse to mind in His wise and creative way to help me not to worry.

Matthew 6:33-34 says, "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."

The power that God gives us to face our trials comes one day at time. God Has a wonderful plan for those of us who love Him and are called according to His purpose. If we are truly seeking first His Kingdom and His will, He will surely give us the strength and endurance through these trials that we face. We should only focus on the things that we can do (pray, believe, trust, etc.) and let Him worry about the rest. Do what we can do and let God do that which only He can Do.

I am reminded of so many things this morning about this situation we find ourselves in.

1. I have no control over what is decided re: these children's future.

2. These children don't even belong to us as do none of our children. They belong to God and we have been given the responsibility to shepherd them and raise them the way He wants us to (that is a hard one to grasp sometimes).

3. Worry will not solve anything. I can't stop their mom from visiting with her children (as much as I would like to). Worrying about the outcome of this visit or what her motives are will only frustrate me more and make matters worse.

4. God is in complete control. As I have written earlier, He saved these kids from a horrible situation and I am convinced He will continue to protect them wherever they end up.

5. This is the painful part of foster care. We believe God has called us into this to give kids a stable environment and a loving family for however long they stay with us. Whether it is 2 days, 2 months, or 2 years. This is harder said than done, but God will not give us more than we can handle. And we must continue to seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and the result: He will take care of us and sustain us. Very comforting in my times of need. Thank you so much God for giving me and my family strength to endure this really difficult time.

Your prayers re: this meeting today and this continuing saga are much appreciated.