Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Overwhelmed with Worry?

When I first became a christian, like so many others, I had no idea what that part of my life would look like. It is funny, in a way, to look back now and think that if God would have revealed to me at that moment what was going to change in my life and what was going to need to change, I think I would have ran really fast in the other direction.

Now here I am some 12 yrs later completely a different person. There is so much going on: from the responsibilities of a wife and 5 kids, my continuing and growing relationship with God, and the roller coaster ride of Foster care and adoption. I drive a 12 passenger van now, for crying out loud. If you would have shown me this picture back in my (i am invisible and rebellious) days, I would have called you insane and laughed in unbelief!

But that is how God works, I am finding out. He doesn't show us more than He thinks we need to know at the time. He knows better than anyone else that we are weak and He cares enough to not give us more than we can handle. He knows we will worry about the details and what He really wants is for us to give our worries over to Him and trust Him for our future.

These thoughts enter my head as I meditate on our current situation with Anna Kate and Noah (who I have written about earlier on facebook). It is so hard not to worry about this situation. Today, they have a visit with their birth mom. Why, I have no idea? She caused a big uproar right before the pre-trial last week and then didn't even show. Now she is calling off the hook to DSS wanting to visit with her children. Worries flood my mine from why to what are her motives, etc. At any rate God brought a verse to mind in His wise and creative way to help me not to worry.

Matthew 6:33-34 says, "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."

The power that God gives us to face our trials comes one day at time. God Has a wonderful plan for those of us who love Him and are called according to His purpose. If we are truly seeking first His Kingdom and His will, He will surely give us the strength and endurance through these trials that we face. We should only focus on the things that we can do (pray, believe, trust, etc.) and let Him worry about the rest. Do what we can do and let God do that which only He can Do.

I am reminded of so many things this morning about this situation we find ourselves in.

1. I have no control over what is decided re: these children's future.

2. These children don't even belong to us as do none of our children. They belong to God and we have been given the responsibility to shepherd them and raise them the way He wants us to (that is a hard one to grasp sometimes).

3. Worry will not solve anything. I can't stop their mom from visiting with her children (as much as I would like to). Worrying about the outcome of this visit or what her motives are will only frustrate me more and make matters worse.

4. God is in complete control. As I have written earlier, He saved these kids from a horrible situation and I am convinced He will continue to protect them wherever they end up.

5. This is the painful part of foster care. We believe God has called us into this to give kids a stable environment and a loving family for however long they stay with us. Whether it is 2 days, 2 months, or 2 years. This is harder said than done, but God will not give us more than we can handle. And we must continue to seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and the result: He will take care of us and sustain us. Very comforting in my times of need. Thank you so much God for giving me and my family strength to endure this really difficult time.

Your prayers re: this meeting today and this continuing saga are much appreciated.

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